Harry Potter Self Care

Welcome back to another Geeky Self Care post here on bravelittlepufferfish! Today I thought I would tackle what geeky item helps me in my self care the topic for this one is extremely near and dear to my heart and that would be “Harry Potter”. The story of the boy who lived and the story that defined a generation of children who are now young adults. It is a tale of friendship, the power of love, good triumphing over evil, and of course means a lot to many people. I read them with my father from the tender age of about five and a half and have continued to love the book series. I waited in line at book stores for the books to come out and went to cinema premieres, I even have the knitting book and knit my own Weasely sweater(although by the time I was done with it I thought it would be a little bit embarrassing to have a large D on my chest). This is something that for me I could go on about for ages but I thought would break it down just a little bit!

1. Hogwarts will Always Be There

For Harry, Snape, and many students in the book series Hogwarts is a safe place where they are accepted. Dumbledore says himself that “Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home”. This is a beautiful mantra and serves as a happy place. There are so many head canons on tumblr about Hogwarts accepting muslim students, trans students, Jewish students, and other often ostracized groups finding their happy place at Hogwarts. Collectively among the Harry Potter fan community there is a discussion around Hogwarts as it is ours. Across borders, religions, and cultures for those who love Harry Potter Hogwarts is a shared home we can all find. Hogwarts is a place where even the biggest of misfits can find their home. The Harry Potter community is made of misfits and in times of darkness it is a true comfort to be able to return home.

2. Boggarts and Dementors

Another point of Harry Potter is that there are specific creatures that manifest themselves as mental illnesses. The biggest being boggarts as a threat of anxiety and of course the dementors as a sign of depression. Too often these real illnesses are passed as “just being inside your head” but as Albus Dumbledore says “Just because it is in your head who is to say it isn’t real?”  Perssonally I believe often the hardest part about recovering from mental illness is coming to terms with it. We see this with Harry and other wizarding children in the muggle world. They do not know of their magic, and in the case of the Dursely’s literally kept in the closet, so much that it is often out of control. It is only when that Harry accepts the fact that he is a wizard and learns how to use it properly is his magic under control. You can chase away a boggart by laughing at it, and finding that happy memory when a dementor is nearby saves your soul. It isn’t always the perfect advice but it is useful.

3. Complex Characters showcasing Complex Problems

There are several characters in the series who face abuse, racism, bigotry, manipulation, bullying, and other forms of extreme trauma. These characters rise up from the ground and are able to stand up for themselves. Through love, friendship, and some serious git and bravery these characters are able to better their situation and fight evil. Many have their times of doubt but more often in the books they are able to conquer Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

4. A Healthy Non Traditional Family Structure

To be honest this is a pet issue of mine. There are few non traditional family structures that operate in a healthy way so I relish any nontraditional family structure I can see.

Harry grows up in a non-nuclear family and is loved by many even those whom he would call “mom” and “dad” have passed away. For me this was big to have someone who grew up without “Mom” or “Dad” but was still loved and cared for. Of course in the muggle world he is abused by his Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, and cousin Dudley but in the wizarding world he finds a support network through his school friends and the adults around him. In a maternal way Hagrid enjoys carrying for Harry inviting him to tea every single week to talk about his classes and how his week went. This feels extremely reminiscent of the way my mother would beg me to call her about once a week. Throughout the book series we also see that Harry is given multiple father figures throughout the books including Dumbledore, Sirius, Hagrid, Lupin, and even Arthur Weaseley. Of course Harry is not short of mother figures of Molly Weasely and Minerva Mcgonagall. Each of those adult to child relationships are important to Harry and each adult recognizes that Harry’s parents are important to him even though he never had the chance to meet them. Each parental figure in the books is pertinent to Harry’s growth and development into a young man. This is big and establishes healthy relationships for those who are raised in similar non-nuclear family situations.

 

In truth the way I describe the relationship with my father figures is that my grandfather who raised me was a combination of loving Hagrid and wise Dumbledore while my biological father was like Sirius Black, loving but through uncontrollable circumstances was not ready to be a full time caretaker. The way my anxiety manifests itself honestly feels like a demon on my shoulder. Where suddenly opening my laptop or getting in the car can feel like a nasty boggart is hiding there. Yes boggarts for the most part are harmless but the terror they cause is real. Having the language to explain my family situations, mental health struggles, and even finding the community of misfits that make up my friends truly is a comfort that surrounds me like a warm blanket

To sum up my thoughts on Harry Potter and my mental health journey, which I am sure to return to I will leave you with this quote from Dr. Brene Brown. This is from her book “Braving the Wilderness: the Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone” Dr. Brown writes

“ Yes, we know that Harry Potter is not real, but we know that colective light is is real. And powerful. And in the face of hatred and bigotry and cruelty and everything that dark sky stood for, we were so much stronger together.”

I believe that sums up my feelings about Harry Potter, although I refuse to believe it isn’t real. Below I have also listed some resources if you would like to explore this topic further. Please let me know what you think by liking this post, sharing with your friends or any other means. Has Harry Potter resonated with you in times of darkness? Is there a particular character that resonates with you? How so? Please let me know in the comment section down below!

 

Harry Potter Self Care Resources.

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text

This is a 30 minute podcast series in which two humanist ministers form the Harvard divinity school, the wonderful Vanessa Zoltan and Casper ter Kuile, read Harry Potter using sacred reading practices they learned in divinity school. Each episode focuses on a different chapter through the lens of a specific theme, they will use a specific sacred reading practice often from the Christian or Jewish tradition, and close with a blessing upon two of the characters. They also take voicemails from listeners about their own thoughts and interpretation of the texts. Whether you belong to a faith and actively participate in your religious community or are an atheist who would like to be more spiritual I believe there is something for everyone in this podcast. It is a loving community and you are able to pick and chose what theme you may want to focus on. I have friends who are actually reading the books alongside the podcast which is another great way to listen. Please go check them out as they are wonderful!

Harry Potter Therapy: An Unauthorized Self Help Book from the Restricted Section by Dr. Janina Scarlett

The author of this book is both a self proclaimed nerd and registered psychologist. This is a book where many common and uncommon mental health topics are discussed through the lens of Harry Potter including but not limited to anxiety, depression, body image issues, bullying and much much more. There are shared stories of other Potter Heads and how the story of harry helped them through their journeys or tough mental health situations. There are also techniqtues for mindfulness and coping that are focused through the lens of Harry Potter. They are the same ones you would expect to learn in a therapy but with a nerdy twist. I bought my copy for about $8.00 on Amazon so go check it out if you have the means. Or if you don’t perhaps ask your local library to order it.

Advertisements

Disney Self Care

A Geeky Self Care Post

On this blog I thought it would be fun to do a little mini series of posts about some of “guilty pleasure” Self Care Loves. It will focus on potentially all things geeky, originally I wanted to write this as one long post but then I realized that it would probably be about the same size of a novel. This series while discuss how each of the things I am obsessed with helps me on my journey of anxiety.  In turn how potentially you can find comfort through these geeky loves of mine as well.  Since the Incredibles 2 came out this past week and I also saw Frozen on Broadway(which was amazing btw) I thought why not start off with the fact that I am a twenty something and completely obsessed with Disney.

The Disney obsession started early with my father taking me to see Toy Story as a mere infant in the movie theaters. I think from then on I have seen nearly every Disney movie ever. Even when I was in high school and Tangled came out I tried to ignore it but when I inevitably saw it I became obsessed. Soon after I even wore a Rapunzel style braid to my high school graduation. I even did a project on Walt Disney’s role in shaping the American Dream. I think you can say that I enjoy Disney a little. . .

It’s important to realize why the Disney way draws in so many people to it’s love and adoration. Part of their signature trademark, besides the famous mouse ears, is that everything they create is “Magical” and all of the theme parks offer to be “the Happiest Place on Earth”. The movies and environments they create are aimed to provide a sense that “dreams come true” and provide a “Happily Ever After”.  In this scary world where issues are extremely complicated it is comforting to think about a place where there is a Happy Ever After.  An important factor to the Disney model is how it treats the past. Everything the company strives to do is through the lens of creating Fairy Tales.

Whether it is through the films of Disney Princesses, Frontierland, Main Street USA, or even films like “Old Yeller” Disney paints a picture where the past is as beautiful as it could ever be. Even if the scenery is not that of a specific “Fantasy Land” where there are fairies, and princesses the focus is often in a similar light. With the painstaking attention to detail whether you are watching a Disney movie, tv show, Broadway Musical, or visiting one of your theme parks Disney transports you to the Fairy Tale World.

The key difference that Disney creates in their storytelling is that they always have a direct message and key points to establish that message. Often Disney films will have multiple themes with the overarching theme that “Love Conquers All’ but each movie has their own specific messages in addition to that. In “Frozen” it is the True Love between sisters and stay true to yourself. In the “Fox and the Hound” is that true friendship will conquer all odds. Dumbo learns that what makes him different is his true power. “Finding Nemo” looks into the lengths a parent will go to for their children and also sheds a beautiful light on those living with disabilities through the characters of Nemo and Dory.  In Pixar’s “ “Inside Out” the film explores the necessity for different emotions, even sadness. 

The themes and even subtle messages of these films resonate through and at their core is the belief that dreams can come true. Through the array of different messages people are able to connect with the characters when they are in times of trouble. Each story is so carefully crafted with the overarching message kept in mind at all times that in times it is comforting to see your pain reflected in a story.  So how does Disney help with my anxiety?

Well glad you ask. In times of darkness all things Disney become a source of comfort. Being able to see a fantasy version of the past or a different world brings me comfort in times of panic. When I am in the midst of an episode of anxiety that is excruciatingly terrifying it is nearly impossible to find a happy place. However by watching a Disney film, listening to the familiar music, or even scanning through pictures of my last trip to Disney world I am reminded of the sense of comfort Disney brings to me.

Coming back to the films I am someone who has often had trouble verbally expressing myself, which I know may be odd coming from someone who calls themselves a writer. But for many of the emotions running through me or my anxieties seeing that reflected in Disney films help me. In certain situations, I can empathize with the characters and in moments of distress almost reference certain scenes from the films so those around me have an idea of what is coursing through my head. I am also a musician so I find myself turning towards music when I cannot express myself. The familiar music I know and love bring a sense of comfort that I can physically feel coursing through me.

The main thing that Disney helps me with is the nostalgia factor. Connecting with Disney, for me, makes me feel like I am connecting to the people in my life who I have lost. I even found a postcard from Disneyland my grandmother sent to my parents around the time when it first opened! My parents loved Disney and I went a few times as a child. My biological father even ran the Disney marathon in 2007! On the weekends I would spend with him we would frequently watch Disney movies, our favorite was Bambi. So when my demons have taken over my brain or I am feeling immense grief over the loss of my parents turning to Disney helps ease the pain. It was something that my family shared. After I saw the Incredibles I couldn’t even help but think about what my father would have thought about the film. Being immersed in Disney is a form of self care and helps me articulate my feelings.

If you enjoyed this earlier in the year I wrote about how thinking about Winnie the Pooh has helped me meditate the link to that post is here( https://bravelittlepufferfish.blog/2018/02/02/starting-to-meditate/ ) . Feel free to check it out.

Does Disney do this for you? Do you use Disney as a form of Self Care? Please let me know if you like this sort of content as I would love to write more of it. Please feel free to share with all of those who you think would be interested.

Until Next Time,

Dawn

Make Art

This past weekend was a rough one for both myself and my anxiety. It was father’s day in the US, and honestly my anxiety was at an all time high on a personal level.  In addition to this the news of what is happening with the DHS at the Southern Border of the United States. The treatment of families and children at the border is abhorrent and paralyzing. I personally have contacted my representatives pleading with them to get rid of the doctrine that is causing all of this. After this it is hard to know how to devote my time.  After being left in this paralyzing fear what is left for me to do?

I must create.  After all of the good and necessary deeds I have taken as a citizen all I can do it share my thoughts on how to express myself in the world. All there is left for me to do is to write, to paint, to play music, and to continue teaching my students. I can volunteer. I can contact my representatives and voice my concern. I can register to vote but no matter what I must push on with my life. So should you. It does not help people to just wallow in the horror. There has to be a way to push.

The past year of recovery for me has been rough since my anxieties have paralyzed me at times. Now I am working on using the same anxieties to push me forward for action. In the darkest of times art is the truest savior. Even if it feels a little frivolous at times you must continue to push forward. Ideas have power behind them and expressing them are what makes the world special. Despite the pain leave the world a more beautiful place than you left it.

Part of the art I do is painting on seashells and I still think that it is important. I believe it to be a noble craft of creating something. At the moment I am working on a novel, I knit, paint seashells and keep this blog updated. What are the projects you are working on? Is there anything you like to keep updated. Please comment below as I would love to see what this community has in store!

Until Next Time,
Dawn

A Life Update

A little over a year ago I decided to spend the school year of 2017-2018 to work on myself. I had just suffered a major loss in my life, graduated from school, moved a few times, and felt like I was drowning in a sea of anxiety. I went to college to become a teacher, which is an extremely stressful and taxing job and I decided it would be best for me and potential students to work on myself for a bit. For the past year I have. I have been going to therapy, taking medications, and only accepted part time positions not to overwhelm myself. I am open and honest about when I am feeling anxious with my partner and my friends, I have made tremendous progress and am incredibly proud of myself.  

However a little over a week ago I had another major loss in my life. It was a shock, at the time my only goal was to plan everything and I did. I planned a beautiful service and my father is at peace. But I am left here feeling set back. I wake up lethargic, when friends are talking I sometimes can’t help but feel lost, and even am just disinterested in every topic at times. I yelled at a friend for talking about the Survivor season finale and later that day burst into tears before entering a movie theatre to see “Solo” of all movies.  Even as I type I can feel myself shaking a bit on my patio with anxiety. This makes me feel lost as I am still the terrified person I was in September. This set back makes me feel like all progress has been lost but it is important to recognize that it hasn’t.

I am not lost. I am not the same person I was in September. I have coping mechanisms now.

The progress I have made is not gone. It is still there but now I know I need to to rest. If I go out I know to set up a signal indicating to a friend or my partner that I might need a break.

I remind myself that I am allowed to give myself time. Time where I can write. Time where I can paint, knit, draw, and make scrapbooks. As well as time where I can play music, something I have not allowed myself to do. I give time to read YA Fantasy, poetry, and literature. I must give time for bubble baths and letting the nice scented hot water soak some of the anxieties away. But with all of this I must also allow time to accomplish my goals.

I want to be a full time teacher, go to grad school for Music Therapy, update this blog expanding the community, and finish the novel I set out to write. Chipping away at these goals little by little is important too. It is about finding a way to incorporate both and being patient with myself when the plan does not work and ok when some days my brain cannot work with me to get the work done.  It has been said to me a few times that the mark of a great teacher is not a beautiful lesson plan but the reaction you give when your lesson plan is not working. Teaching on your feet when the plan is not working is arguably one of the hardest skills to learn for new teachers. I think we can bring that into life as well. Often plans do not work out, even if you have everything written down in a fancy planner. The key to living a happy life is adjusting when the plan does not work, for giving your time to rest when need be .

I have been set back but have not lost the lessons. This will be a year where I can truly work and accomplish goals but also allow time to have some rest. Recovery is non linear and I have the strength to push on. I believe for the rest of the year I will be pushing on and making great progress.

The Problem with Mother’s Day

Today is mother’s day in the United States where Mother’s are celebrated with brunch, flowers, scented candles, and of course cards telling them how much we love them. It is a holiday where love and appreciation are spread for the wonderful amazing women who raise us. Unfortunately for myself and many others it is also a time of pain, uncertainty, and the unsettling feeling of not belonging. This is true of father’s day as well. I have always loved the sentiment behind Mother’s Day and Father’s Day but have always felt out of place and often in pain during these well meaning holiday.

To preface my issues with Mother’s Day and Father’s day let it be known that I grew up in a non nuclear family. Since I was nine months old my paternal grandparents raised me, my biological father often visited until I was in High School, and I have never properly met my biological mother. In addition to this my extended family of aunts, uncles cousins, and even my great grandfather were heavily involved in my life. I was surrounded by support and love but did not have a woman whom I called “mom”. When I was a really small child I did not notice this. I was just a happy little girl who was loved and adored by her giant family. However around first grade I started to notice that the family structure I had was not remotely the same as everyone else who grew up around me. As an adult I am ok with this but as a child the sheer thought that I did not have a woman who I called “mom” was crushing. My grandmother treated me as if she was the one that gave birth to me but still she wasn’t “Mom” she was “Grandma”, and according to everyone else “Mom” came before “Grandma”.

This meant that for so many of the well meaning school projects throughout grade school were printed with the words “mum” and handwritten in marker above it “Grandma”. Even through Middle School this hurt but fortunately “Grandma” and “Grandpa” always opened their arms to care for me. 

In America not everyone is raised by a mum and a dad. For many they are but this is not always the rule or the case. Many children are raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, and in foster homes. These beautiful important children who are being raised in loving families often feel ostracized since they often may be the only one in a classroom where the printed project or cards at CVS do not fit their family. The thing that sets these children apart also makes them feel like they do not belong in this world. In the modern day there is more acceptance for non traditional families so shouldn’t the language we use for children.

Another way where I feel a particular sting at the arrival of both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is that both of the people who raised me passed away. I do not have children of my own and the people who I would have celebrated with have passed away. So even though I have passed the point where I am sad that my particular family was a little bit different than everyone else’s the magnitude for what I have lost is profound. At the mention of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day my eyes swell up making it difficult to go through the day. They are days when I am sorely reminded of what I lost. 

This blog post is not a call to be rid of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day completely but rather a call to potentially be more mindful of others. A call to be more understanding of others who may be having a hard time understanding. This can also be a call to card businesses or even craft companies for kids to create products that would be sold. Mother’s Day cards that celebrate Aunt’s, Grandmother’s, Foster Parents, and potentially more would be fantastic. I think that anyone who steps up to the plate to nurture anc care for a child should be celebrated. It is a daunting task and you should be reoconized for you hardwork. 

In conclusion Happy Mothers day to current mothers, mothers soon to be, those who wish to be mothers, aunts, grandparents stepmothers, to those who have lost their mothers, and to those who wish to be mothers but cannot for some unknown circumstance. May you be showered with the love, light, and appreciation you deserve. Happy Mother’s Day

Much Love,

Dawn